Hello there, everybody!
It has been a while since I, Chris, have
actually spoken to you. The last few blog posts seem to be by that of somebody
who may have had the vague figure of Chris, but was not actually, mentally and
spiritually, him, though it has proven to be a blessing, which I will explain
in better detail. ANYwho, It's great to be back, writing to you all, and under a new blog! This blog will be the beginnings of, formally, my "personal diary" of sorts, with the posts focusing more on personal betterment. My other blog - "I Drink Your Milkshake and Eat Your Birdienumnum" - is not defunct, and that will be my primary movie reviewing and creative outlet!
The title here is taken from MAN OF STEEL (2013), which was a film that has inspired me through this period of my life.
Firstly, as the title of this post suggests, I
am rejuvenated - mentally, spiritually, emotionally, metaphysically. All of
these are apt enough adjectives to describe the renaissance - or,
post-classical period, "rebirth" - I feel I have gone through. And,
for anybody reading this going through a valley in the "Peaks'n'Valleys
System of Living", I am here to tell you that bearing the pain only makes
you a stronger, more resilient person in the long run. For two and a half
years, I lived in a valley, with miniature peaks here and there, but really and
truly lacking the definitive upswing that would define a true "peak."
I had given away all personal responsibility to the ether, and had all but
given up on fighting the fact that I was a person to blame for most everything
that would go awry not only in my own life, but in the lives of those closest
to me. Writing that, and summarily reading it back to myself, proves how
ridiculous that must sound to one in a rational-thinking state of mind. But, to
me at the time, and to countless others who I have read about going through a
similar deep emotional valley, it seemed perfectly rational. I suffered through
the worst academic period of my life in those two and a half years, and brought
embarrassment to not only me, but my family.
As today is March 31st, 2015, it has been barely
over a year since I started my turnaround. I re-began working out again. I
re-began working as hard and meticulously I had my freshman year of college. I
re-began relaxing - spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And
that is not to say that I had been perfect before. What I have come to realize
is that I let all of my weakest qualities come to the fore, be magnified by one
hundred, and eventually, represent my actions. In short, I lost courage. I lost
sight of the best qualities, which I had previously let determine my actions a
vast majority of the time. And, it is not to say that working on rejuvenating
is not an on-going process - it absolutely is, and I still find myself
occasionally falling into these bad habits. What I know now, however, is that I
have developed a capacity for recognizing these, and effectively fighting
against and coping with these peccadillos.
And now, I would hope that you're wondering to
yourself: why should I invest time in this? Well, it is simply because of this:
I want to be an example to anybody suffering right now. I want to show you, if
it is you, that you are more than capable of not only "getting
through" this time, but in thriving. And not only are you capable of
thriving through it, but you can scale up the facade and to a definitive peak.
Living takes courage. "Putting yourself out there", whatever meaning
that holds for you, takes courage. And, as people, we have the innate ability
to exercise courage more often than most give one another credit for. We all
have a fighter's mentality, though some suppress it more than others. And,
sometimes, we must actively fight - mentally, emotionally, soulfully (By
singing James Brown's "Get on UP!" to yourself) - to put
this courage at the fore. But, what I am here to say is: YOU CAN!
You can.
You can.
You can.
It is absolutely within your capacity to scale
the valley wall to continued peaks. There will always be valleys, and coming to
realize this is what has helped me recognize life's unpredictable nature, and
truly be present within it. Putting down the distractions, focusing on your
well-being, and "getting after it" for the next few months will place
you in an infinitely better place. It might take a year, it might take your
lifetime, but dedicating yourself to your own all-encompassing well-being is
absolutely worth every ounce of energy expounded.
I have returned to my waist size of my freshman
year of college. I have returned to a weight that I feel comfortable with
myself in. I have returned to a mental state that, the majority of the time, is
healthy and in-the-right-mind. I can confidently say when I am tired, or just
need time alone, without feeling disappointed in myself, or that I am letting
down others. All of this is not to say that I am not still working myself. But,
as long as you keep working for your benefit and solely your benefit, you will
achieve happiness.
Thank you all for reading, and I hope to
continue to document this lifestyle change, through the peaks and valleys, with
any and all questions/comments welcome, either here or on Twitter!
Best,
Chris O'Reilly
Twitter: @chris_0reilly
